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I wish i had the courage...

I wish I had the enough courage to handle myself. When people whom I hate say that it was difficult to handle me, I felt it as a great thing that I'm different to others. But never tried whether I can be accessible from my own self or not.

Today I feel it really difficult to keep a control over my mind. It plays as it wishes and does as it thinks. Sometimes I think I can control me, but the moments lost in the dreams and hallucinations I destroy the innocence created within the time I reborn after every hurt that breaks me.

Getting hurt has become a habit and hobby. I feel the presence of my own self only when I'm hurt, happiness is of nothing to my life. I don't feel the joy anymore, neither I want it in my life.

When people are happy, I take it as my happiness. When people run through grief, I'm there as a shoulder to cry for them. I may not be the one everyone wants but that person whom they never want to miss.

Irony isn't it?!?!?!

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